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Blogs > wickedeasy > wicked and that ain't so easy |
life is more true than reason will deceive
life is more true than reason will deceive i left my winter coat at my auntie's house. it was a bitterly cold day but i walked out without it. the day began with my standing at the sea. just me and mama....she'd asked this of me and i stood on singing beach at sunrise. the sand was hard and the sea was in. i was all alone except for a man and his setter. i slipped off my boots and stood in the frigid water. i whispered the words we always shared and watched the waves pull her back into the sea. my brothers and sister....my nieces and nephews....gathered at walden pond at eleven. the sun chose not to shine.....cold winter air. we each took turns letting some of mama drift onto the water. i licked my fingers ....then the caravan moved onwards to where she began. two hours later the cars pulled over to the side of a small country road. large maples framed the old cellar hole. awkwardly, we climbed the small knoll and pushed through the brush until we stood on the edge. my niece's hand in mine was warm. slowly we moved, separated, to form a circle around the main house...stretching to touch finger tips to finger tips. my nephew pointed to the sky.....a sliver of a rainbow above us despite the lack of sun. and then standing each alone, hands gray with her dust........we returned her to her home. the wind stood still...and she drifted down slowly and coated the earth. i stopped to see her sister and her brother's wife... who was a sister to her as well. the rest of the family had chosen to head back to my sister's. but i stopped there and we sat at the table in the kitchen of old farm house, the smell of sweet fir in the old wood stove and we remembered together. i could see mama in the face of her sister, hear her in the susurrant slide of my aunt's slow words. as i climbed back into my car....the sun was setting and the horizon was aflame. i stopped at the top of the hill. from there, you can see all of their land. ......such beautiful land...the road steep into the valley where my aunt's home sits....a plume of smoke lifting into the air i will go back....the coat is a good excuse.... but it is the kitchen and the stories that call me....her home now lives in me.....and these women are my women now....i am my mother's .... You cannot conceive the many without the one. |
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11/26/2007 4:40 pm |
Blessings Be
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Thank you for sharing a precious moment wicked , i haven't a blood sister, but afew sisters , thank you for that as well . lacen
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*wipes eyes*...thank you *hugs*
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we...my breat held in my throat as i read your words...yes the coat is a good excuse my friend...xo but i am so sure you would be a welcome sight regardless... we.....wow a rainbow....she was sending down her love...signs are amazzing !!!
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I loved my mother dearly, though we had a strained relationship while I was engaged in the process of becoming a human being. I look back, now, at that period of time and I find myself saddened for my inability to be a "better" son. I am saddened, by the pain I caused her and by the pain she caused herself because of my inadequacies. She passed on in 1984 and, yes... I miss her. I miss the Saturday morning calls to her. I miss the sound of her voice, which always made me feel loved no matter what might be ajar in life. I miss being able to say... "I'm sorry for being a rotten kid, Mom. I love you, Mom." Solar...
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11/27/2007 6:12 pm |
I loved my mother dearly, though we had a strained relationship while I was engaged in the process of becoming a human being. I look back, now, at that period of time and I find myself saddened for my inability to be a "better" son. I am saddened, by the pain I caused her and by the pain she caused herself because of my inadequacies. She passed on in 1984 and, yes... I miss her. I miss the Saturday morning calls to her. I miss the sound of her voice, which always made me feel loved no matter what might be ajar in life. I miss being able to say... "I'm sorry for being a rotten kid, Mom. I love you, Mom." Solar... is being rotten and I know she knew you were more....all mothers do xoxo
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11/27/2007 6:13 pm |
A very beautiful post and deeply felt thank you for sharing an important time of your life with us Wicked.
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What a lovely way to remember your mama. I do like the idea of returning one's ashes to earth (I certainly don't want mine ever sitting on someone's fireplace mantel).
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11/28/2007 8:39 pm |
tight hugs "All you'll get from strangers is surface pleasantry or indifference. Only someone who loves you will criticize you." - Judith Crist, crack film critic
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11/29/2007 1:51 pm |
Under the frantic, fearful life you show me a beautiful view of humanity in harmony that fills my Heart with a soothing grace...Thank you for the gift of your story Oui.
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