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Blogs > wickedeasy > wicked and that ain't so easy |
grey clouds and rain.
grey clouds and rain. that's what i wanted i got blue skies and sunshine loss is an odd thing. you think you've got it under your belt. made it through the worst. but then something so small, so ridiculous can just smack you in the face. and there it is. freshly cut wound. calling hours for funerals - i've always loathed them. the whole idea of a body in a room and people looking at it and then standing around. it's just wrong. irish wakes never really started til you got back to the house and the whiskey. and the singing and the fights. sitting shiva....respectful, food. no body. me, i want a party. with loud music and lots of booze. weed if you prefer. toss my ashes into the sea. remember me with stories. eat, drink, be maudlin, be silly. be happy that i had a life that i enjoyed. that we knew each other. make fun of the people i disliked. in fact, make prank phone calls to them from me........snork. i'll leave scripts. just no body in a room that smells of disinfectant and has weird uncomfortable furniture and bad art and people looking like they'd rather be anywhere else. maybe a bbq....make sure to have heritage tomatoes with mozzarella and fresh basil. oh and ribs for the folks who still eat meat, i do have folks who still eat meat. and a cake....that says...bon voyage........or something like that. because who knows where we go.... but i know we go somewhere..and boy i'm dying to find out...pun intended. and cry if you want, but laugh more and grey clouds and rain on the day you scatter my ashes. i mean a little decorum, yanno? You cannot conceive the many without the one. |
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i plan to be cremated. my dad was. my father was a caterer all my life...bbq when he went i told my sister "well, the BBQ king is finally up in smoke" we laughed our asses off . we could hear him laughing, too. yup, that's the kind of girls he raised irreverent the nut doesn't fall far from the tree..
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Yup. I understand that. bam. from nowhere. even years later. but mostly memories of the stuff that mattered. the stuff that made me smile. or laugh. the stuff that was full of love. i tend to forget the other stuff. and yes. a party celebrating a life. tears and laughter go together, especially when remembering someone. did you know you are a part of my heart. and one of the kind, loving ones on the board of directors in my head. I often hear *snork. particularly at the absurd. Always tell the truth Use kind words Keep your promises Giggle and laugh Be positive Love one another Always be grateful Forgiveness is mandatory Try new things Say please and thank you Say your prayers Smile ~Author unknown
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We always told my mom we'd find a way to bury a phone and run the line into her casket. Now, we just have to put her cell phone in it with the directions pamphlet since she forgets how to access her voice mail. I like the idea of a BBQ and the celebration of life. I've been to several Irish wakes and the headache in the morning is not as bad as the heartache. Never ignore those who care for you you will have lost diamonds while you were collecting stones
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Being Jewish, shiva is the norm. But like you, I want cremation and a gloomy day at sea. Two quick stories; 1st. My God-Mother had her pets cremated and put into jars with funny faces after they passed on. One day my GM and I come home from shopping to find the maid snorting the ashed of Luey the German Shepard. The maid didn't see us, so we crept back out to the car where we rolled with laughter. We never saw the maid again...hhhmm 2nd. My mother also cremated her pets...cats. So over the years, she collected ashes of quiet a few cats. She gave them to me and told me, "When I die, mix my ashes with the cats then sprinkle us where you want." Crazy cat lady comes to mind here. LOL
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Wicked, what brings up this sudden discussion of death and funerals? I hope you are not making plans! When my Dad's casket was about to be closed, I slipped an airline bottle of chivas in his jacket pocket. I know he was grinning as I did it too. For me, cremation and scatter my ashes here at the lake. One of my bro-in-law died suddenly 10 years ago, he & my sister both wanted their ashes scattered at High Falls in the Adirondaks. So the following summer, Sis, my then ex & I headed off to the mountains, towing my small boat, to take the round trip and do the deed. OPPS! When we got there (1st time on the Oswigatchie in at least 20 years, we used to canoe it all the time) the river was not closed to motor boats. SO, the next summer, one of my cousins & sis & I took off, in the canoe, and did a fast run up to High Falls and back. When my sister goes, my sons can do the duty! I hope all is well for you, Wicked! Chas
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I'm down for the prank calls.
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I feel what you write...its funny but funerals and I are not friends. I have been to enough and wish to go to no more. Mind you if I have to I'll go...because I would want people to come to mine. Death scares the hell out of me, even though I believe in God and the resurrection and all. But the whole frame of mind around that subkject just makes me not even want to think about it, Coward? maybe, but I'm just not ready for those thoughts yet...maybe never will be...
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You lost someone recently? I'm sorry. Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety. Other women cloy The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry Where most she satisfies. For vilest things Become themselves in her, that the holy priests Bless her when she is riggish. ~~ from Antony & Cleopatra
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I've tried to get anyone to... just honor my last request, which is: Drag my body up to the mountain, in the bed of my truck... toss me out on a service road... and leave. Let the buzzards come pick my bones clean. Hell--they gotta eat, too. Why would I want anyone to spend their money (or mine) on a dead body when I could leave all my money for anyone to use for something worthwhile--alive maybe?! And people tell me I'm unhinged? Solar...
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5/1/2012 12:57 pm |
Thanks WE. I hear you about the ambush of emotions that lurk long after loss. And I couldn't agree more about the viewing tradition - I've often thought that if someone forced a viewing on me, I'd have them prop me in the back of the room sitting on a chair, hat tilted over my eyes "pretending" to be asleep.
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Yeah, DT... Ain't it amazing what limitations people place on God? Solar...
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Just popped by to check on my old friends. Glad to know you are well (and not yet pushing up daisies)! AskAphrodite (formerly known as BiPolyBabe)
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This is a kinda morbid post, WE. But I'll play along. I've always fancied the idea of havin' a heart attack (big, quick and as painless as possible) on the bow of a bass boat just off the northern coast of Mansard Island in the Tennessee part of Kentucky Lake. I don't know why but the idea of hookin' into a 3 lb. slab crappie or a 10 lb. black bass, fightin' him for about 20 minutes before finally succombing to exhaustion and givin' up the ghost as he pulls me head over heels into the lake has always appealed to me! They don't need to drag the lake and fish me out, but it might be nice to put a small white cross at the water's edge on Mansard Island to mark the approximate location where I "bought the farm" as we say back here in Missouri. If, during some subsequent fishin' season, someone snags my fishin' pole in that area of the lake, my wish is that they take it to the boat dock at Mansard Island Resort and ask the dock operator to send it to my next of kin as a poignant remembrance of my final fishin' trip.
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1 post 5/11/2012 12:30 pm |
Cremate me and leave some ashes with my wife, and the rest go to sea.. I'd like a big party, booze dancing, no tears...I have 4 daughters , 4 grandchildren so far..I detest the Catholic Church (another long story) My church is out to sea.
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