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Blogs > wickedeasy > wicked and that ain't so easy |
the (a)basement
the (a)basement the basement is a chat room here at Vision Personals. it's supposed to be for people who are into BDSM. when I was here long ago and far away, I would go there and spend time with likeminded folk. we would discuss, we would meet new friends and we would introduce people who were questioning to the lifestyle. I went in yesterday. so not the same. no one was discussing lifestyle, no one was following the rules of bdsm culture, and while the room wasn't very busy and perhaps was a good room to go to for a pick up, I saw no evidence of it's stated purpose. a large number of people at Vision Personals back in the day - tell me I don't sound old and cantankerous - left the basement because it was overrun with trolls and a group that were not particularly lifestyle but more fringe.... sort of bedroom bdsm. not that there's anything wrong with that, because a lot of folks like the kink, just don't live it 24/7. it bothers me to a degree that on this site there is no place for people who are BDSM to gather. it was a significant room for many years and served a good purpose with Dom(me)s like BAB and TM who could really teach, and while we had our silly moments and indeed even traded recipes, we spent time on the culture and learning from each other and protecting those who were new and needed it. now it seems like it's just a game and tbh, it scares me a bit. there are way too many crazy people in the world who can say they are a Master. and way too many people who hook up without being careful enough to have arranged for a safe call. it's easy to beat up a woman and say you're a Dom. so easy to say. The world of BDSM has so often borne the stigma of people like that. when I appeared in the room, I was propositioned almost immediately. there is not a Dom in the BDSM world that I know that would do that. when I typed my hello appropriately for the culture, I was asked what I was doing. such a shame to lose that stylistic element. for me, as ever, it shows how little people understand what it truly means to engage in the BDSM lifestyle. how much courage, confidence you must possess. The level of intelligence and insight into yourself you must have reached to fully allow yourself to trust. I have always used a lower case I when I typed before but now it auto corrects. not even the Vision Personals computer will allow me to show that a submissive can be powerful, smiles. You cannot conceive the many without the one. |
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Rooms do change and we miss friends when they leave. I have seen both good and bad chats in the room. You are right, there is not a lot of BDSM chat that goes on and it is rare to get educated or inspired, but every once in awhile it happens. I did get a little tired of waiting for the magic to happen, and was scared by some of what people said, so did end up just writing a blog. There are some good people that still come in from time to time. I don't know if any room can get away from trolls and "pick-ups," that is just something we have to deal with unfortunately. Arguing with a troll is like...well, you know, and since the room is not moderated, the rules can't be enforced. i keep checking in periodically, ya never know unless you try, they say.
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I feel like the chat rooms on the site are in decline, not sure why. I always preferred going In a chat room and talking to several people at the same time, over going on IM and trying to have one on one conversations where usually the other person's goal was cyber sex. The last couple of times I've stopped in the Upper Midwest chat, there have been a bare handful of people. It used to be routine for there to be 50-70 folks in the room. Too bad. On the other hand it's one less time drain
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Even over on Fet, there is a plethora of wanna-bes. I'm lucky - I was taught by the very best (I have the best teachers everywhere and that was no exception) and it seems quite obvious to me. But for the newbies...well, let's just say there are plenty of stories where it doesn't turn out so well. Ahh change...I'd be ok if it slowed down even just a little! xoxo Always tell the truth Use kind words Keep your promises Giggle and laugh Be positive Love one another Always be grateful Forgiveness is mandatory Try new things Say please and thank you Say your prayers Smile ~Author unknown
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I have sat in the basement many an afternoon, while a member of Vision Personals and ALT. Then while I was traveling for work and had limited time to log in, the brain trust of the sites decided to change our names by putting an rm_ in front of it Tried for the longest time to get back in and always got denied because of " that username is already in use" or "that email address already has an account". Sorry about the long winded intro but the question is. Where does everyone go now?
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