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Blogs > wickedeasy > wicked and that ain't so easy |
Rites of Passage with a moron
Rites of Passage with a moron On the way to my nephew’s wedding, we had to use GPS because it was in a small town in western Mass on a farm. If you know the area near Leicester, Spencer, you will understand there are no street lamps, very little that one can use as visual guides. In the full light of day, it’s lovely rolling country and the curving roads would make a motorcyclist grin with delight. At night the tree lines are only occasionally broken by lights from a home or a got everything store. We nearly died 11 times. My brothers were there already which was a miracle, so I ran for the bathroom then settled into my ceremony seat. Cut to the post ceremony…. DJ WHIZ…. swear to god. A man with the charm of a glob of spit trying desperately to wrassle gleeful people into orderly groups. He was loud, AND he used a mike, through which he shouted, can you hear me?, hey, let me hear you say YAH on the average of once every three minutes. Resounding silence answered him, but was he deterred?. NOT THE WHIZZER. He just kept saying it over and over until a weary few said yeah, yeah, hoping he would stfu. And who plays Alicia Keyes next to Travolta’s Staying Alive? That’s wrong on so many levels. He introduced the Father of the Bride as Big Papa. Shudders. My Christian sister as Hot Mama. my brothers of course wolf whistled. My nephew married a lovely woman named Becky. His first wife was also named Becky. His brother who was the Best Man gave a great speech in which he said, make this work because I doubt you’ll find a third Becky willing to deal with you. My family, laughed like loons. Her family was silent. If you’d been there for the first wedding and the fist fights……….you would have laughed, This was sedate. THAT was a free for all. The Whiz, when it came time for the first dance, said…………raise your glasses to Micah and Meg. The Couple’s name? Josh and Becky. However, Micah and Meg (brother and sister) did dance, just to take the piss. As the night progressed and everyone got a wee bit drunk, Whiz included, he began to circle the room handing out cards, the bathroom was strewn with them. Later, I’m out having a cigarette, and everyone is talking about what an ass he is…. turns out one of the smokers is his girlfriend. awkward. But I do believe she went back to the hotel with one of the groomsmen so maybe she traded up...with the Whiz, there was no where else to go. tbh…. if you call yourself the whiz………. you’re asking for it, right? PS My brother Bob kept going up to him with made up music titles. Bob is a musician, had all these references that were real, but the actual tune………nope. Whiz got so fed up with him he told him his stuff was old people music…. Bob was crushed. Good wedding though. killer squash. You cannot conceive the many without the one. |
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when i go to weddings i know 2% of the people. i wonder if that was always true You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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11/27/2017 1:49 pm |
Never been to a wedding like that yet. Sounds interesting. Life is just a party and party's are meant to last.
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Sounds like a night to remember..
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Sounds like a fun celebration, in spite of The Whiz. At least you spent time with family...and have an entertaining story to tell. "Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax." – Mark Black
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Clearly they should have had a wedding singer instead of a DJ Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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I have been to several "institution" weddings where i only knew the bride the groom or both. Around here the common music folks want is the Chicken Dance chicken dance ha ha - YouTube Video for Chicken Dance▶ 2:43 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdFIXsrjkXI followed by the Hokie Pokey- great imagery I can just picture WHIZ- my sides ache (Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group
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Not that I think I'll ever get married at this point, but I can't imagine hiring a DJ for a reception because an experience like that would ABSOLUTELY RUIN IT for me. I feel your pain sister. Love the toast though, about "make this work because you're not going to find a third Becky".
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Over all sounds like a good wedding. These kind of wedding you just don’t know what can happen do you? Hugs V. Ps as long as you had fun that was the main thing Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Sometimes, over here, 'taking a whizz' is a euphemism for having a piss......seems appropriate in this instance. I LOVE weddings, usually, even when I know 2/100 folk there!
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And a good time was had by all, it sounds. My only wedding story involves a guy I worked with for years. Norm was a brawler, but he didn't swing anything but his dick at one wedding. He was the best man, the groom got drunk, so Norm stepped up and fucked the bride for his pal. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety. Other women cloy The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry Where most she satisfies. For vilest things Become themselves in her, that the holy priests Bless her when she is riggish. ~~ from Antony & Cleopatra
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