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Blogs > wickedeasy > wicked and that ain't so easy |
when we parent our parents.
when we parent our parents. just had a long talk with D. he's been in Florida taking care of things with his parents - his mom has a medical procedure coming up. it's difficult when we become the parents to our parents and harder still to walk the line of preserving their dignity while making sure they get what they need done, done. he was supposed to be home for another week and then head down around the 27th. but his mom called and she wants him there this week for a doc appointment. he's frustrated because he doesn't think it's necessary - we talked about a teleconference so he could hear what the doctor was saying but i'm not sure hipaa would allow for that. i hate being understanding sometimes. i want him home. but i told him that this has more to do with her fear and less to do with what is really happening and so i think he heard that and will go back on Wednesday. and in some way, this tending to them has allowed him to feel for them in ways he has blocked for years. his Dad is a big man well over 6' tall. he still walks like an athlete but he's confused and having D there makes him feel safe. his mother is ......... unique. but during this time with him, she has told him she is sorry for what she couldn't do, and stories - wonderful stories - about her life in Romania before escaping the german occupation. words have healed old wounds and begun knitting a relationship together. he laughed when i said that - called it more a crazy quilt, but i can see how important it is to him i have him tonight and tomorrow night. i will be present. i will enjoy each second. i will not let the future steal the joy out of the now. still, sometimes i really don't like being understanding. You cannot conceive the many without the one. |
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9/17/2006 12:40 pm |
It must be very difficult for him to see his parents in need of help .... I'm dreading the day when I'm in a similar situation ......... and so grateful that I have a sister to help Live with passion !
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It is good that you are understanding. I can empathize, having been in his situation....and as hard and devastating that it was for me, I would do it again in a heartbeat. He will appreciate you for it.
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It is so hard to see the people that you looked to for love and protection for so many years, needing that from you now. I'm glad that you are there for D and understand the situation. Attention All Bloggers: HOSPITALITY HOUSE BE OUR GUEST
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9/17/2006 9:18 pm |
I'm reminded of a saying - father is child to man. I often think of this when I start working with my father or when I took care of my mother so long ago in her last days. D needs to be with his mother. It's tough for you, but it's something he'll most likely remember and cherish for the rest of the time he's on this earth in this incarnation. This is a time for deep breathing and meditating on the good things in life....It's the only way I know how to get through these issues. Hugs and warmth sent you way. Skier
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you are so beautiful, in so many wayz you couldn't b any other way
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It is a sad irony that the reward for a long life is to become increasingly helpless and dependent on others. It seems to be at our time of life a bounden duty if parents have survived this long, and perhaps it should be seen as part of the natural cycle, tough though it is. warm xx
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9/21/2006 5:25 pm |
Feeling you there!!! With Jim's job, which happens to be his DREAM JOB, he is on the road ost of the time and I try so hard to understand....really I do!! And I know he loves this and loves to be with me too and is torn between doing what he loves and being with who he loves and I try.... Big Hug to you and I miss you!! -B
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